I know these words are expressed a lot but the amount of growth, understanding, and great things that I am experiencing is unbelievable. The magnitude of it all is just too much to ignore. I am growing more and more anxious to go home and to see what all is in store for me in the future. However, I am also thankful for everyday that I am here because of the wisdom that I am learning. But as with any wisdom that one gains, there comes the realization of the great amount that is still waiting undiscovered.

The thing about all of this is that, for the very first time in my entire life, this unknown does not cause me to have any fear at all. A purpose is finally being understood… and with that comes a freedom. The more I come to see God and the more I let Him dwell in my heart and guide my daily walk, then a greater amount of peace comes over me. I am seeing more and more that it is not all about the tangible things. I am seeing that it is not all about the measurement of wealth and prosperity, popularity or intelligence, talents or charms (and you can name the rest). The more I see that it’s not even ALL about what you accomplish.

What it is all about is something bigger than ourselves. Something that was set into motion thousands of years ago and has been so brilliantly plotted out to cover over all the many people of all many cultures of all the days. We can have a glimpse of that through diving into the word but even then we cannot see it all, nor the motions that are playing out all around us even now. (Which I might add, shows the importance and reason for trying to discover it and why it is absurd to draw conclusions from our extremely cultural and personal bias mindsets).

Being here and being stripped of so much has been a great experience. I stand before my readers and the people I meet with feeling nothing more than how Paul did in his first letter to the Corinthians: "When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (2:1-5)

It has been an amazing journey of being stripped down and humbled, left to do nothing more than cling to the one person who was there all along just waiting for permission to step inside of me. And now comes the fun part of being able to start seeing life and all the joys in it as northing more than blessings and beauties. Not as burdens or as measurements to live up to. But as a daily walk and revealing of one more thing to enjoy with my time here. I am beginning to lose so much fear, headaches, loneliness, emptiness, stress, etc. Because here I am! And I am nothing more than “a mist that appears for a while and then vanishes” (James 3:14) How empowering! We were chosen and given a great gift. I am part of a story that is bigger than myself. Part of a body that needs me and my role to play! And I have someone who loves me and fights for me always. “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails” (Proverbs 19:21)

It is like a breath of fresh air. I have finally discovered the key to unlock the purpose of my life. And that is something that was promised to me a while ago.

"My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,
and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you."
(Proverbs 2:1-11)

To end all of my rambling about discovery, I will leave one passage that sums up all that I am feeling. One that speaks so clearly to me at this time…
"Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10)