A story

This is a story mostly for those who know the struggle and pains that this particular incident caused in my life. Over two years ago I had a healer approach me in a dollar general store told me that he was sent from God to heal me of my struggles with my hip and proceeded to “heal” me in the parking lot. (To make a long story short-- I woke up with the same weak and shorter leg) This was an experience that took maybe an hour of my life but haunted me for weeks after. I desperately searched for answers that would explain this incident to me. And I would eventually put it in the back of my mind but it would occasionally creep back up and perplex me and pain me all over again.


About two weeks ago I found myself wanting to read the book of Acts . This was something that I have never done before (from start to finish anyways) and I was immediately drawn into the stories about the brave men who fought to spread the gospel to the unbelieving people. When I started reading chapter 3 I read about how Peter and John healed a man who was crippled from birth.... and all the emotions came back to me. Drowning me in confusion, heartach, a feeling of defeat and insignificance... harder than it ever has before. I found my heart calling out to God in total desparation for his guidance. That "healer" was bringing me so much pain. I pour myself out in my journal then I fell to my knees in prayer. I desparetly looked around the room for a sign of God around me. I thought the sunlight flowing in the windows were his comforting hand. I was eventually brought to tears and found myself laying on the floor before Him. All I heard was Raul Alverado, ask Raul to explain this situation to you. But too scared it was me, not relying on God, I went out with a sense of defeat and even sought encouragement from my roommates at dinner.

Little did I know that the next day, as I dived deeper into Acts, a passage would puzzle me. I was confused in it's meaning and as I waited for Jami to finish a reading session I found myself in Raul's office asking for clarification. And it was there, admist his answers that the truth set my heart free. I was perplexed over the significance of the Apostles needing to give someone the Holy Spirit (Acts 8:15-16) after they were baptized since all the other scriptures say you are baptized to recieve the Holy Spirit. Well, I came to learn that the very next verse (vs 17) showed that they were talking about the HS being "upon" people and giving them the power to heal and perform miracles. An explination that went into depth about how this was only given from the Apostles. And it was only needed at this time to help spread the message and something that was according to his will (Hebrew 2:4).

So there I sat, dumbfounded at the events. Raul had the answer to the question in my heart and he did not even know he was delivering it to me! The power of God is astounding! And what brings me even more to my knees is the fact that I felt compelled to read Acts in the first place. Which lead me to Acts 3, the start of it all anways.
Thank you God. Show me how to listen.

That experience revealed to me the faithfullness of God and just how active he wants to be (and IS) in our lives. I don't know why God choose this time to bring me enlightenment. Maybe because I am being called to deeper places, maybe because I am need this truth for something in the future, maybe because I am a simple instrument right now and I am suppose to be sharing this story with you, or maybe this is something he has already tried to show me but I am just now listening.

Something else that I can see from this experience is the dark depths of Satan in this world. When I look back at my journal from that day I can see just how much I was wrestling with him. "Lord, I'm scared. I'm fearful to the depth of my heart. What if Satan encountered me so boldly that day? What is he knew/knows that would affect me so severyly and continue to on this day. What if Satan has such a grasp on that man and his ministry that he is blinding him from the truth?" And reading even further I can recall all the emotions that were stirring up inside of me. I felt weak, so wrong, and so unsteady in my faith because I was questioning the plans of God. "It hurts me to think I am so weak. It hurts me to think I was so wrong and so unsteady in my faith. It hurts to read about the healing of the crippled beggar and to see how many people came running to learn about Christ. The man told me that day that you wanted me to an instrument and to think about all the people that would be touched by my story. Am I not good enough? Do I not believe enough? So I not let you in enough to finally hear the answer to my cries?" Here the enemy was throwing all sorts of ideas and thoughts at me then blaming me for it! (But the heart is good, it is from God. This was a foul thing at work and therefor not from my heart. And not from God because his voice is never condemning- Romans 8:11).

But in the end I am confident that it was at this time that Christ was the conqurer. My repentance lead to enlightenment and to peace, instead of the past results of guilt and shame- death to my heart (2 Corinthians 7:10). Oh how alive our Enemy is, prowling like a roaring lion waiting for someone to devour! (1 Peter 5:14) I am so thankful for this opportunity to grow in wisdom and enlightenment. Something that I thought was so unreachable until I discovered that it comes from having a descerning heart that walks in a relationship with God, submerssed in his word and by putting on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18).


This was not meant to show off some great faith of my own, if anything it shows the amount of depth of insight that I still need to obtain in my life, but this was to show the great faithfulness of God. And it shows how active he wants to be in our lives if we open ourselves up to listening to him. Right now I am praying for boldness, depth of insight, and for the opportunities to gain wisdom and fall more in love with God. Thank you for listening and I hope that this can help you to see the Great love of God, the activeness of the Enemy, the great love of Christ... and whatever other lesson that God is telling to your heart right now... you just have to listen!!!!